


satisfaction brought it back

by ElasticElla



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 15:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13504218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: A true crime case turns supernatural, and Ryan gets a little too curious about Shane's fanfiction references.





	satisfaction brought it back

**Author's Note:**

> ...this is what happens when i take too much cold medicine and wake up at three am apparently. while it does get pretty meta i haven't actually read any fics for these two (yet) so everything's hella fictional

“He kept a diary describing all the other ways he’d like to kill the victims if he could do it again.” 

“Well shit.”

Ryan snorts, “Yeah. So when the journal was found after the ninth body, Edward became the only suspect. One of the widows, Alice Branford, shot him in this living room, before any trial could occur.” 

“And that’s why you don’t write fanfiction about people you murder,” Shane says. 

Wheezing, Ryan lets out a, “ _Dude_.”

“Look if Eloquent Eddie here had just stuck to writing about fictional people or hey maybe not the grisly murders he totally didn’t do, we wouldn’t be here.” 

“That’s fair.” 

“A lesson kids,” Shane adds, turning to stare directly at the camera. “Don’t just write what you know.” 

“A lesson-” Ryan echoes incredulously, trying not to laugh too hard. “Anyways since Edward Davis was killed and there was no definitive proof, some believe he wasn’t the perpetrator. Let’s get into the theories.” 

.

Ryan’s editing the footage in their hotel room, Shane singing horribly off-key in the shower, when he notices it. He listens to the moment over and over again, wishing they had more cameras. It was _supposed_ to be an episode of true crime, not supernatural, and fuck he really doesn’t want to go back to the creepy house with better gear. 

This is what he gets for suggesting they drive out to the Davis house- just over the border in Arizona- rather than filming at his place. 

The water shuts off, and Ryan cues up the moment, unplugging his headphones. Shane of course takes another five minutes to dry off and dress before he comes out because he’s an asshole. Not that Ryan wants him to come out naked, well he wouldn’t mind that, but the point is he wants to show him the audio clip. (He’s just wearing sweatpants, not that Ryan notices shit like that about his best friend-coworker-partner. Definitely doesn’t notice the few stray droplets still on his chest; what kind of movie shit was that anyways?)

“Weird fucking vibe in here man,” Shane says, dropping his clothes next to the bureau. 

“I need you to listen to something,” Ryan says. 

Shane’s eyes narrow, “Did you hear ghosts on a porno again? Let’s just say I believe you this time-”

“That was once!” Ryan exclaims, cheeks burning. “Not what it is. Just tell me what you hear.” 

“Alright,” Shane says, sitting at the end of Ryan’s bed- the one closer to the tiny one person ‘desk’. (It’s a goddamn end table.)

Ryan hits play, turning the laptop speakers to full volume. 

“ _It wasn’t me_ ,” is spoken in a deep voice and Ryan hits pause. 

Shane’s eyebrows arch, “That’s it?” 

“What?” Ryan says, “It’s clearly Davis talking to us-”

“Maybe someone was singing Shaggy outside.” 

Ryan crosses his arms, “That wasn’t singing.” 

“Alright fine, play it again.” 

Ryan clicks back, Shane’s recorded voice booming. 

“- _you don’t write fanfiction about people you murder,_ ” 

“ _It wasn’t me._ ”

“Uh huh.” 

“You don’t find that compelling? At all? A full sentence clearly relating to what we’re talking about.” 

“If you wanna go back in the morning with ghost stuff, we can do that.” 

Ryan groans, “Yeah. We should.” 

“Don’t sound too excited,” Shane says. 

“Usually there’s first person accounts so I know what could happen, nothing came up when I did the research for this case. You know I don’t like being underprepared.” 

“Because it probably isn’t haunted. It’ll be a quick stop before breakfast. A jaunt.” 

Ryan rolls his eyes, shutting the laptop. “Anyways. That’s like the fifth time you’ve brought up fanfiction in our videos.” 

“Yeah right. Maybe second,” Shane says. 

“Mhmm.” 

“What?” 

“I dunno, do you write?” Ryan asks. 

“In all my free-time after debunking fiction? Nah.” 

“Oh.” And Ryan doesn’t know why he feels a little disappointed at that- it wasn’t even a real theory or a well rounded one-

“I do read though,” Shane says. 

“Shut up,” Ryan says automatically, a wide grin emerging. 

“Here we go,” Shane says to the ceiling. 

“About what? Anything I know? Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Matrix-”

“Everything the light touches,” Shane interrupts before he can list every piece of media they both know. 

Ryan’s eyes light up at the sudden thought, “Wait, are there stories about us?” 

Shane flops back on the bed, his voice deep, “You must never go there Simba.” 

“There are! Have you read them? Does fake you _finally_ realize ghosts and demons are real? Oh I’m totally gonna tell-”

“Ryan.” 

“-all your little Shaniacs. Bwahaha,” he finishes with a melodramatic laugh. 

Shane waits until his laugh trails off, standing up with a stretch. “No _baby_ , they’re about us fucking.” 

“Oh.” If Shane had stayed on the bed it wouldn’t be such a problem (okay maybe it totally would be) but a half-naked Shane referencing them fucking? Ryan can’t resist the temptation, and his mind goes into overdrive imagining things it shouldn’t. 

Shane’s staring a bit, and fuck, he just went totally silent on him didn’t he? 

“So is it any good?” Ryan asks, a nervous laugh bubbling up his throat. “Do we- oh shit, do we have sex in front of ghosts? That’s twisted. I would _never_.”

Shane chuckles, crashing on his own bed, “Uh huh. What if it was guaranteed to get you evidence of a ghost? I think you would.” 

Heat flashes through him, and he grabs his pajamas. “Whatever.” 

When he’s changed and brushed his teeth, Shane’s still grinning his smug little _I’m right_ grin, and that won’t do at all. Especially not when he thought of the perfect rebuttal while changing.

“If we ever had sex in a haunted place, you would insist any noise heard was from us,” Ryan declares, slipping into his bed and rearranging all the pillows. 

“You wound my professional integrity. Besides we could set up motion sensors far away,” Shane says.

“A book would fall and you’d be like, _don’t worry baby that’s just from us bringing the house down._ ” 

“That does sound likely,” Shane admits, and they both laugh. Ryan’s pretty sure Shane’s laughing at the absurdity not to cover up how he accidentally turned himself on, but it’s a nice unwholesome moment. 

“Shut up, g’night Madej.” 

“Sleep tight baby,” Shane teases. 

“Oh fuck off,” Ryan mutters, throwing one of the extra pillows across the room. 

It does hit Shane’s head, but he just hits the lights. “Sweet, free pillow.” 

And Ryan attempts to go to sleep, trying to think of anything besides the man only a few feet away.

.

The problem with Ryan’s brain is it doesn’t stop. Whether that’s cataloging tiny noises that definitely aren’t made by natural means or going through the latest theory, he’s always been good at evading sleep. Naturally Shane never seems to have such problems, is already snoring. 

Midnight turns to one to two to three, and fuck it- he isn’t going to be able to sleep until he satisfies his curiosity. With a guilty glance at the other bed, Ryan swipes his phone open. Shane told him not to read it, but he himself must have read some to know what it was about right? This really will just put them on even footing. Shane doesn’t even have to know he read some. 

It’s distressingly easy to find the stories about them- like his family and coworkers could so find it. He clicks on the first one, something about a demonic cat. It’s a nice enough story about a cat that basically adopts them and happens to be supernatural and able to alert them to nearby ghosts. It’s cute- the idea, the execution- and maybe he likes how very domestic it feels, safe and comforting. Shane, _fake_ Shane, kisses him at the end, and his stomach squirms. 

However it does nothing to chip away at his curiosity, and okay _fine_ he really wants to read the porn. There are indeed a bunch about them banging in haunted houses, and he opens one at random. The exposition is a bit much, like honestly he does not need a full run down of the fake ghost’s history, and he scrolls down to a point in the page’s middle. 

_Shane slams up into him, knocking the very breath from his lungs. His mouth pants against Ryan’s neck, half-kisses and sucks making him moan. Ryan already knows there will be bruises tomorrow, irrefutable evidence, he thinks deliriously._

_‘Mine,’ Shane says, rocking deeper than ever into him. ‘They can’t have you.’_

Ryan tosses his phone to the other side of the bed, neck burning. Fuck, this was a terrible idea. He wants to jackoff, can’t imagine reading the whole thing without an orgasm or two. Probably shouldn’t read the stories at all, but if he _is_ \- it won’t be with Shane in the room. 

His gut clenches at the thought, and fuck, so not the time. 

Flipping over, Ryan buries his face in the pillow, ignoring how uncomfortable his boner is like this. Fuck. No more thinking about Shane like that. Thinking about straight boys never ends well. (Not that Shane’s ever identified that way, he could be bi or- fuck, not thinking about it.)

At some point fantasizing turns to dreaming, twisted dreams that are a little too blatant from his subconscious. Shane’s holding him down, making him whimper, making him nearly cry from an overload of sensations. There’s a background mystery plot about a stolen rabbit’s foot, and Ryan hates that he can’t control the dream better- doesn’t give a single damn about chasing down the thieves. But then they’re alone in an alcove, Shane towering over him, leaning in and-

“Ryan, dude I’m just gonna borrow your phone if you won’t wake up.”

“Huh? Yeah whatever,” he says, wiping his eyes. The dream already feels distant, something about him and Shane tracking thieves. 

“Need to tell the office we’re taking another day,” Shane explains, inputting Ryan’s password. 

A moment later it clicks, Ryan’s eyes flashing open as he sits up, “Wait, wait, don’t-”

“‘ _I’m the only one allowed to possess you, to be in you._ ’ Do a little late night reading?” Shane asks. 

“I was curious,” Ryan says, flushing. “Where’s your phone anyways?” he adds on.

“It died in the Davis house remember?”

“And you forgot your charger, right.” 

“Mhmm,” Shane says, scrolling down. “Shit this gets kinky, did you read all this?” 

“No, I fell asleep,” Ryan says. 

Anyone else might have bought that excuse, but Shane’s eyes fucking sparkle. 

“What made you stop?” 

The damned blush comes back strong, “Dude, it’s-it’s _us_.” 

“And?” Shane asks, sitting down beside him. 

Ryan snaps, sleep deprivation and defense mechanisms clashing horribly. “And what? It was too much for me. I can’t imagine how _you_ read this stuff, liked it did you?” 

“Yeah, some of it,” Shane says nonchalantly.

“You- you,” Ryan sputters. 

“Me? Me?” Shane echoes, smile too wide. 

“You’re fucking with me,” Ryan says. 

Shane shrugs, “If you want.” 

Ryan doesn’t know which emotion to seize first, but indignation is easy, “Were you ever gonna tell me?” 

“Were you?” Shane asks. 

“God we’re lame,” Ryan says, a tired laugh underneath his words. 

“But you know what?” Shane asks, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. 

Ryan’s heart thuds loudly in his ears, his entire focus narrowed down to Shane. “What?” 

“You’re _mine,_ ” Shane says, guffawing. 

“Oh shut up,” Ryan says. The possessive words still make his neck burn and he’ll unpack that later, with like at least a six-pack. 

Shane leans in slow, kissing him. It’s all too brief, a sudden press of wet warmth, and then Shane’s standing. 

“C’mon we have to hit the Davis house soon.” 

Ryan’s jaw drops, “You asshole.” 

Shane grins, drawing the curtains open, sunshine flooding the small room. “Up and at ‘em baby.” 

Muttering about overly cheerful morning people, Ryan gets ready. He can’t stop smiling though, and maybe later they’ll read the story about them. After all, like anything scary, it’ll be easier to do with Shane at his side.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] satisfaction brought it back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16900071) by [growlery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery)




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